Be the subject of your own lifenot the object of someone else's

Healing from Trauma Bonds

Attachment Trauma

The brain learns how to build neurological pathways of social connectedness at a very early age, based on the relationship with the primary caretaker – usually the mother.  A healthy interaction occurs when the mother and child have positive interactions with each other on a continual basis.  Positive interactions include bonding activities, such as cooing, smiling, and touching.  As the parent and child have these positive interactions, involving mimicking, mirroring each other’s vocalizations, eye contact, body movement, and sleep cycles, etc., their brain builds neurological pathways of healthy social connections.  READ MORE


Breaking Free from an Abusive Relationship

Following are ten steps to take to break free from an exploitive, abusive, or toxic relationship.  While you may believe that your primary problem is the other person, let me emphasize, your primary prisoner is not another person, but rather, your belief system. Once you can get rid of faulty thinking and allow yourself to think differently, you can begin to heal.  Here are ten steps to take to begin your road to freedom:  READ MORE


Advice for Coping with Guilt Trips

Do you have someone in your life who frequently manages to cause you to feel guilty? When with this person, is he/she constantly implying that you are uncaring, thoughtless, and selfish?  Be aware that there are some people who are master manipulators and can take the biggest empath and cause him/her to feel like the greatest villain on earth.  READ MORE


Healing from Abuse - Stages & Steps

Stage One: Acknowledging

Step 1. I am in a breakthrough crisis, having gained some sense of my abuse.  I am breaking out of denial.

Step 2. I have determined that I was physically, sexually or emotionally abused or neglected as a child and/or I have been or am in an abusive relationship.  READ MORE


Seven Steps to Healing a Trauma Bond

“Powerful emotional attachments are seen to develop from two specific features of abusive relationships: one individual’s need for control, and intermittent good-bad treatment.” If you find yourself stuck in an unhealthy relationship and do not know what to do, the following practical steps will help you heal from a trauma bond.
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Healing from Trauma Bonds

“Powerful emotional attachments are seen to develop from two specific features of abusive relationships: one partner’s need for control and intermittent good-bad treatment.”

If you find yourself stuck in an unhealthy relationship and do not know what to do, the following practical steps will help you heal from a trauma bond.  READ MORE


Trauma Bonding

Bonding is a biological and emotional process that makes people more important to each other over time. Unlike love, trust, or attraction, bonding is not something that can be lost. It is cumulative and only gets greater, never smaller. Bonding grows with spending time together, living together, eating together, making love together, having children together, and being together during stress or difficulty. Bad times bond people as strongly as good times, perhaps more so.  READ MORE


How to get out of an Abusive Relationship

People who have never been in an abusive relationship may not understand why it is so hard for those who are in one to get out.  They do not understand the strongholds that keep a person captive to a toxic person.  If you are in a toxic relationship then I would recommend you take the following steps in order to set yourself free:  READ MORE


Setting Boundaries

What exactly are boundaries?  Boundaries are decisions you make for yourself, not decisions you make for someone else.  In order to set a boundary in a relationship, you can only control yourself.  If someone else’s behavior is destructive to you, then in order to set a boundary, the only thing you can do is ensure that you take care of yourself.  READ MORE


What is Trauma Bonding?

One thing often asked by those in the helping profession when confronted with a person in an unhealthy relationship is, “Why do you stay?”  This question has implications of weakness and failure on the part of the victim and usually causes shame.  Rather than asking this question of a victim of abuse, it is best for a counselor to understand the concept of trauma bonding, and explain it to the individual who seems “stuck” in a bad relationship.  READ MORE

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